sekkritaus | Hogwarts / Wizarding World AU

[ She may as well have been talking another language, for the first few seconds, while he stared at her dumbly. Whatever he'd been expecting her to say, that wasn't it, and it too way too long for the words to filter through his brain. When they finally did, his heart seemed to stop for several beats, then restart painfully just to run twice as fast. The anger she'd mentioned wasn't there - if any emotion could describe the disbelieving shock on his face, it would be closer to utter relief. ]

Oh thank god. [ Exhaled in a single breath, almost like a sob, while his heart stuttered painfully.

He reached out and clasped each side of her face with his hands, then pulled her a little closer so he could press their foreheads together. When he spoke, his voice was thick. Overwhelmed. He didn't quite have it in him to be happy - they'd lost literally everything but each other - but he was so relieved. ]

Oh thank god it's not just me.

[ Hearing his relief, how blatant and raw it is — it's painful. Her own heart clenches underneath her ribs as if gripped in a fist. He isn't even angry with her. Even after everything she's put them through. He only — reaches for her, and pulls her close, pressing his forehead to hers. It's more than she deserves, but exactly what she needs. Especially now, when it feels like everything has ended except what they have with each other.

Her exhale wavers when she lifts her hands to cup his face in return, as if that might steady her a little, just to touch him. ]

It's not just you. [ Her voice is barely there — a ragged whisper. ] I love you. [ Again, quieter, rougher: ] I love you.

I've always loved you. [ He confesses in a breathless rush, emotion thick in his voice even as he's trying to hold it together. ]

I've always loved you, Andy, even when I was trying so hard not to because I wanted to make you happy and if that meant - - [ He faltered, his forehead sliding a little lower against hers, pressing hard. He had to suck in a breath to steady himself, to have the words come out even and not as broken as they felt in his throat. He only half succeed. ]

Andy, I would have stayed with you until my dying breath and never regretted it for a second.

I love you so much.

[ It's the same sentiments they've always said to each other. That undying loyalty, a promise to always stay together — only now, the part that was unspoken all this time is out in the open, and she isn't sure if her heart feels more free or more heavy for it. This is a terrible time to confess to love, when everything is unbalanced and uncertain. When they're being hunted. But she needed to say it. And — for all her selfish hypocrisy, she needed to hear it too. ]

You're a damn fool, you know that? [ But there's no bite to it. She's too raw with emotion, exposed in a way she so rarely is. ] You could've been with anybody. But you picked the girl who broke your heart.

[ That probably makes her the fool, doesn't it? A lucky fool, too. Because he's still here, and he still loves her, all these years later. ]

I've never wanted anyone else. [ Each breath feels faltering, a slight tremble in his hands just from everything wound up inside him and threatening to burst. ]

I never, ever wanted anyone but you, Andy, and I didn't care what it meant or how many times you broke my heart.

It was yours to break, anyway.

[ He deserves so much better. Is it too late for her to try and give him that now? After so much has been taken away from them already... But if she doesn't try now, then when? With an attack like this, who knows how long they'll be on the run or how long their lives will be threatened. It has to be now. She has to give them as much time to be together as possible. She's already wasted so many years. ]

Mine is yours too. Has been, even when I was pretending like it wasn't.

[ It's hard, admitting these things — but not as hard as the thought of losing him. ]

Give me one more chance. [ A quiet murmur as she tilts her head, just brushing her lips against his. ] Take me back.

[ He drew in a shakey breath, brushing his thumb over her cheek as a stray lock of hair slipped to just touch his knuckles. ]

I can't.

[ Far too soft, but he was leaning in further, not quite a kiss so much as just closing the space between their lips so he could speak into it. ]

I can't, because I never let you go.

[ It's more softness than she's shown or accepted in so long that it feels a little foreign — and at the same time, it's almost too familiar, a nostalgic reminder of that fleeting moment when they were young and belonged to one another. It makes regret swell in her chest as she looks at him from under her eyelashes — a certain melancholy that seems all the heavier for the things they've been through today. But she can't change the past — not without a Time-Turner anyway — so it seems all she can do to lean in and press an apologetic kiss to his mouth. ]

Survive this with me. [ Her hands press a little harder to his face. ] Once the dust is settled... Then I'll make it all up to you.

[ He almost sighs into the kiss, his eyes sliding shut. He doesn't press back hard - just enough to cement the fact that he was returning it. ]

If we survive this, Andy, everything is forgiven. [ He murmured lowly. ] Just survive it, I don't care about anything else right now.

[ She lingers for a moment, finding it difficult in that moment to pull away — and compromising, finally, by pressing one more brief kiss to his mouth before she withdraws. They really do have to get the wards reinforced. None of what they've said to each other will matter if dark wizards come knocking at the door en masse. ]

You should rest. Looked like you took a pretty good hit to the head. I'll be back in a few.

[ Ignoring the aches of her own body — and a deep desire to just stay with him a while — she straightens up, gripping her wand as she moves for the door. She'll make a perimeter, then circle back in towards the house. Then, small gods willing, they'll be able to catch a few spare winks of sleep. ]

[ He really, really doesn't want to let her go, but he has to, so he does. As soon as she's out of sight, everything that happened at the ministry threatens to flood right back over him, and he grits his teeth as he heads into the house. Everything is exactly as he left it - exactly as his parents left it - as if they just went for an afternoon walk. He doesn't do what he's told - can't rest - so instead he goes to the cold cellar and mutters as he starts unfreezing provisions. There wasn't a lot. Just a few casks of EverBread and a few bottles of wine. They were going to have to find supplies somehow, but they could last a few days on this and the overgrown remnants of his parents garden.

He stepped up from the cellar as soon as he heard footsteps, and despite himself he drew his wand, heart going a third again too fast as he slowly came to the top of the stairs, wand already in hand -

And then immediately sighed when he saw it was her. Of course it was her. Who else would it be? ]

Sorry. Jumpy.

[ She only raises her eyebrows slightly at him in response, her answer tinged in her usual dryness: ]

You know it'd be a real damper on your sex life if you hexed me, right?

[ But even though she plays it cool, there's small tells that betray she's still worried — her wryness is a little distracted, and her shoulders carry a lingering tension as she turns to cast one last protective enchantment on the front door as she nudges it shut behind her. ]

I cast a caterwauling charm a ways out. Should be loud enough to wake us, if something or someone gets to close.

[ Just as wryly: ]

Depends on the hex. Jelly legs might be interesting.

[ But he slid his wand back into place as he stepped up to her, reaching for her hand almost automatically. ]

Okay. I can't see how anyone would know to find us here - unless they captured Leua, but then we'd have bigger things to worry about. But I thought we were safe in the ministry, too.

[ Her hand is already there, meeting his halfway. She gives him a little squeeze as her fingers tangle with his. ]

Better safe than sorry. [ It's a grim sort of joke when she goes on: ] Being dead would probably be a damper on our sex lives too.

[ A heavy exhale. Her whole body feels tired, but tense at the same time — filled with a restless energy she can't quite let go of, while some unknown danger is still out there somewhere, beyond her sight. There's not much else to do about it now, but it's still hard to settle down anyway. It's half-absent when she asks aloud: ]

You think we're safe enough to rest a while?

If we're not safe here, we're not safe anywhere.

[ It wasn't a yes. But it was as close to a yes as they were going to get, right now. He squeezed her hand again and led her deeper into the house. It wasn't big. The main bedroom was the entire upper floor, with slanted walls that peaked in the center, no real ceiling. The little spiral staircase that led up to it was tough - Poe felt his healing bones as he climbed it, gritting his teeth. But once they were up there, it was easy to see out into the woods around them from a huge round window at the head of the bed. ]

Here, let me make sure you're not wounded. You could take a muggle bullet and not shrug, and I'd rather not wake up in a pool of blood if I can help it.

[ The stairs feel daunting. The aches and pains left over from the fight at the Ministry have no problem reminding her of their presence as she drags her feet up to the second floor with Poe. They've both looked a hell of a lot better. But hey. At least they're still together, right? ]

Don't be dramatic. I'm fine. [ She says dismissively with a sigh. Doesn't matter if that's true or not — she'll say it anyway. Even though there's definitely a cut above her eyebrow that's gone sticky with blood, and her ribs are probably bruised from catching the fringe of an Expulso Curse. Not to mention all the various nicks and cuts she can't be bothered with. ] Nothing a few hours of sleep won't fix.

[ Or a few hours of laying awake staring at the ceiling, since sleep seems a bit of a reach right now. ]

Hogwarts / Wizarding World AU

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