sekkritaus | Rex / Andy / Poe Freelance Heroes AU

Wasn't for you. [ Dryly: ] I was just worried I'd get bored around here without your dumb ass.

[ She says that, but she readily leans down when his hand lifts towards her, putting herself in easier reach for him to brush that stray hair from her face. Damn, but she's softer for him than she should be. Soft for his smile and his teasing. ]

Besides, if I left you behind, I'd have to answer to Rex.

Well, that's true. [ He was getting distracted by the angular curve of her jaw, brushing his finger tips against it almost idly. ] Wouldn't envy anyone that.

[ There was a small pause, before his smile turned a little cheeky. ]

But see? That's my point. I can die while I've got you two to come back for.

[ She knows that's not true — that romantic notion. He's not invincible, their Poe, even though he might seem like it sometimes, with that damnably good luck. This whole thing — these agonizing past three days, they've been an all too poignant reminder of that. But she doesn't know how to articulate her fear, how unsteady it had made her feel — how to explain why she couldn't sleep and couldn't eat and couldn't do anything but miserably smoke the last few nights away, just waiting for any sign that he'd wake up and come back to them.

She's never been very good at that. She only knows how to play it off. How to let her wryness come to the surface over all the soft, vulnerable things she might have said instead. There's only the little things, like how she lingers when he touches her face, keeping herself close when it would be easy to pull away. ]

Famous last words, Dameron. [ There's her eternal wryness. ] Though, on second thought, it could be kind of hot to get a dressing down from the big guy. [ With a twinge of mockery: ] You'll have to let me know, after he comes in here to lecture you for almost blowing yourself up.

Gonna flee the scene of the crime, huh? Leave me to my doom, I get it. [ The sass was belied by the way he just wouldn't pull his hand away - by the trailing touch across her jaw, down her throat. Brushed his thumb against her chin as it passed. For all his bravado, he was relieved, and he didn't want to break contact just yet.

Or ever. ]

But I'll let you in on a secret. It's super hot. Every time. At least this time everything hurts too much to want to jump him.

[ She gives an easy shrug of her shoulders and an amused little quirk of her mouth. ]

Oh, is that why you're always putting yourself in mortal danger? [ Dryly: ] So much of your reckless bullshit makes sense now.

[ But the words can't be anything but fond, even if habitual mockery gives her voice a slight edge. Look at her, the way she leans into his touch — how she ducks her head a bit, just to press her lips briefly to the pad of his thumb. ]

Should've known your dick's been doing the driving this entire time.

[ Poe laughed, or tried to, at least - his ribs screaming murder at him for trying it, so the laugh broke off into a wince. He still looked amused, though, even with the pain. And he brushes his thumb gently over that offered lip. ]

What's the phrase? Can't take the pilot out of the cockpit?

[ He pauses, presses the pad of his thumb to her lips as he makes a dumb little kiss with his own, like he's transferring it through his hands. Look, he's an idiot, forgive him. ]

... He okay, though? [ He wanted to ask "Are you okay?", but he figured she'd answer more honestly about Rex, and then he could probably extrapolate. ]

[ That question makes her visibly sober up a little. It's been... Hard. Not only because of her own concern for Poe, but because she's had to helplessly watch Rex worry too. That's the trouble with loving two people — twice the opportunity to hurt. And at the same time, she isn't sure what she would've done without Rex there to struggle with her. To be her anchor.

As much as she likes to claim she's better solo, that's never really been true. Now more than ever. She —

She needs them. ]

...It hasn't been the greatest three days. [ That's what she goes for, at length. Words fail to describe what it was like, with Poe so still and quiet, her and Rex restless and frustrated and... Scared. ] He'll be glad to see you. [ A pause, then a bit quietly: ] He really loves you, you know.

[ The strength had drained from his arm and he finally lowered it, fingers brushing her hip on the way down and then resting on the bed near her thigh. ]

I know.

[ There was no cocky bravado in it. No smug sureness. It was a hard admission for her, and he took it as one. But he'd never doubted that he was loved, even when both Rex and Andy had been frustratingly dumb about it. He'd argued with them because he knew he was.

He knew what she was hiding in those words, too. And he could hide his own. ]

I really love him, too.

[ There's an unspoken comfort in that. In a selfish way, it makes her emotional inadequacies seem less like a terrible, unbridgeable chasm when she can trust that Rex and Poe will still have each other in the moments where she fails. Moments where she lies and says she feels nothing. Moments where she'd rather run away than face the intensity of her love. She's deeply imperfect — secretive, angry inside, and more afraid of being hurt than she'll ever admit — but she's never wanted them to have less than they deserve.

Andy exhales heavily, suddenly feeling the weight of the past several days. Wordlessly, she nudges gently at him, to see if he'll be able to move over a little — just a little, enough to make a small space for her to carefully crawl into the cot beside him. ]

[ He takes the meaning easily enough, mostly because he wants her next to him just as badly. So despite how his body yells at him for trying it, despite the sudden queasy lurch, he shifts over enough that she can crawl onto the cot as well, his arm held out - iv still stuck into the back of his hand - for her to curl up on. ]

[ It's a selfish desire to be close when he's still battered and bruised, but she can't bring herself to regret it too much — not when she's missed this like being homesick. It feels good to be tucked against his side. It feels right. For the first time in days, she feels like she can be halfway at ease. And rest a little. Maybe close her eyes a minute.

She lets one hand rest carefully over his chest, her palm pressed against the place where his heart beats.

Very quietly, tired and a bit rough around the edges: ]

I missed you.

[ So much. Even though he hadn't really gone anywhere at all. ]

[ She settles in against him and Poe actually feels how tired he is, for once, letting the mask of bravado slip for a few seconds while she was otherwise occupied. He was exhausted, all the way down to his bones, through his marrow. But it didn't matter. He wanted her here, so much. He could take the way his body complained at him, if it meant he could feel her weight at his side, her hand over his heart. His pulse was fairly even, relax, but it did beat a little faster, just for her.

She spoke, and for a split second he felt guilty: he'd really managed to upset them. But the guilt didn't last. They were alive to be upset. He was alive to be upset with. That was what mattered.

He turned his head, eye closing as he leaned in to press his lips to her hair, breathing her in deep. ]

Sorry. [ For making her worry, for getting hit: not for doing the reckless stupid thing in the first place. ] I'm right here.

[ Then, without a sound uttered, his lips forming the words silently against her scalp: ]

I love you so much.

[ She knows the words without having to hear them - and her tired old hesrt clenches tight under her ribs right on cue. It’s a strange, conflicted mess of feelings she always gets - that instinct towards fight or flight, some part of her that always wants to insist that he shouldn’t - and at the same time, this overwhelming reciprocation, a warmth that fills her and lingers after the words have been formed. Unconsciously, the hand over his heart tenses slightly, her fingertips digging into the fabric of his shirt - betraying, in some minute way, that conflict she feels.

He almost died. He should hear her say it back. Even if sometimes the words feel like glass in her throat - a painful truth. An acknowledgement that she has so much to lose.

Andy turns to bury her face against him, muffled and quiet when she answers: ]

I love you too.

[ He can count the number of times she's said it out loud on his hands. And for all his bluster about not needing to hear it, it never failed to completely gut him - heart suddenly feeling about ten times too large in his chest.

It's a stupid idea and he knows it is, the instant he has it - he really should be lying still and trying to rest - but there's just too much in him, suddenly, to stay in there without some sort of outlet, and he doesn't trust words right now. Not with the fragile warmth of hers still lingering. He didn't want to break them.

So he didn't speak, but he did shift, turning a little on his side toward her, hand slipping under her chin to try to ease her up and away from his chest - and as soon as he had a clean shot, leaned in to take a warm, full, lingering kiss from his lips.

His ribs could file a complaint later. ]

Edited 2018-12-05 16:18 (UTC)

[ She's lucky to be loved with such patience — not everybody would endure it, those long stretches where she goes without acknowledging the things she feels or how strongly she feels them. Maybe she's come a long way from outright denying it — a long way from that day when they fought in the cockpit and she chose disappearing over admitting the truth — but her warmth is the kind that needs a little stoking.

Thankfully, Poe's always been good at that.

She should insist that he rests. He must still be hurting — she doesn't need to be human to know his body is only barely out of the woods at best — but selfishly, she'd rather press her mouth against his, basking in the familiarity of how his lips fit to hers. All those days of worrying and waiting culminate in a kiss that's a little harder than it should be, driven by her sudden need to feel him and be close to him. ]

[ A quiet sound escapes his lips - not quite a groan, not quite a sigh, because he'd needed that. As much as his body needed the bacta.

He shouldn't push it. He shouldn't, but he's already deepening the kiss, returning the force she pressed upon him and wanting more. He turns until he's fully on his side - a slightly pained grunt escaping him almost unnoticed - as he slides his other arm down her back, hand pressing against the base of her spine to pull her up flush against him.

It hurts. Force, it hurts. But not as much as the idea of letting her go, right now. He slid his knee between her thighs and pressed close, groaning against her lips. ]

[ She's lived for hundreds of years and had more lovers than she can remember — nobody should affect her so easily anymore, but somehow, he always does. Even when he's still in his literal sickbed, not even conscious for an hour yet. Maybe that's love — or maybe it's just Poe Dameron — but he gets her weary heart-and-a half beating fast just by pressing close. It's cramped and awkward and she doesn't give a single damn about it.

She lifts her hand to cup his face, fondly brushing her thumb against his cheek. It's a low murmur into the nearly nonexistent space between their mouths when she speaks, wry and warm: ]

We keep going like this, and you'll end up bedridden another three days. Then we'll both be in trouble with Rex.

[ She's right, he knows it, his screaming muscles know it, his bruised ribs know it. Which of course means his stubborn rebellious streak wants to argue it anyway. But his brain is too sluggish to come up with a witty retort immediately, which is probably another sign of how right she is, and he lets out a slightly frustrated sigh against her lips. ]

Would absolutely be worth it. [ Is what he mumbles, in the end, but he gives her one more brief kiss and the grunts as he rolls back onto his back. Ow.

With one arm still under her, he uses it to try to gently coax her back up next to him again. ]

Can't blame me for trying. But I guess I can wait a couple days it if means I can celebrate getting out of this room by dragging you both to bed.

[ She huffs out an amused little breath as she obligingly tucks herself up against his side. ]

You’re worse than I am.

[ But it doesn’t sound as much like a reprimand as it probably should. Particularly not when she’s casually draping her arm over him to take his other hand in hers, tangling their fingers together. There’s so much warmth buried under that hard exterior of hers, utterly inaccessible to anyone except the two men aboard this ship. ]

You sure you can survive a few more days?

[ He threaded his fingers between hers, squeezing them gently as she settled in. He let his eyes close - just for a second - which was a complete mistake. Because as soon as he did, the exhaustion hit him full force and made it impossible to open them again. Well. That was fine. He didn't need to look at her - her face was long ago burned in his mind, and he could feel her. That was more than enough. ]

Maybe. Long as Rex doesn't lecture me for too long. [ Even with his eyes closed, he grinned. ] Then I take absolutely no responsibility for my actions.

[ They’re incorrigible, the both of them. Even in their exhaustion. Her own eyes are heavy-lidded, her voice dropping low and lazy as she responds with a mild wryness: ]

Mm, you know it’s true love when you get hot for someone while they’re telling you off. [ Bully that she is, she’s already looking forward to teasing Rex about it - later, when they’ve all had a little rest. Now that she’s comfortable, it feels like she hasn’t slept in a millennia. ] Better rest the fuck up if you want to be dragging us to bed instead of having us drag you back in here.

[ Poe chuckled, lowly, not even attempting to deny it. Yeah. She was teasing him, but she wasn't wrong. True love existed. He'd found it. And he was never letting either of them go. ]

Yeah, that... Sounds like a good idea, honestly. [ He murmured it, his chest rising and falling, the beat of his heart slowing by fractions. ] Feel like I could sleep for...

[ But he never finished his mumbled sentence - the warmth and security of Andy nestled in beside him took away all barriers to his exhaustion, and he fell asleep before he could even complete his thought. ]

[ When Andy doesn't return to trade off shifts, Rex isn't alarmed - it wouldn't be unlike Andy to try to give him more time to rest, as though he could rest with Poe in such a state, or to simply want more time with him. But he knows Andy needs the rest too, so he silently enters the medbay to relieve her, only to see them spooned together on the tiny bed, Andy's face pushed into the crook of Poe's neck, Poe's arm sprawled out in a way that can't possibly be comfortable, both in a position that has to be aggravating Poe's stitches.

If they were awake, he'd probably act upset with them, shoo Andy away so he can take a look at those stitches, give Poe a lecture on not pushing it after being in a three day coma, but they're not. They're asleep and far more at peace than he's seen them in what feels like months at this point, even though he knows it's only been a matter of days. These two, he thinks, fondness welling up in his chest, are going to be the death of him. So he takes those rumpled covers and smooths them out over the both of them, re-ups the painkillers being fed to Poe through the needle in his hand, tidies the entire area up and sits in the same chair that he and Andy have been sharing for so long. They love each other - too much, some might say. He's as relieved for Andy as he is for himself; though Poe may be the most demonstrative and verbal of them both, he knows her too well not to see it in everything she does.

He's not sure how long he sits there for, just drinking them in, finally able to admit how much relief he feels to see them whole and together and safe, and just how convinced he had been that it would end in ruin. So much of his life has that, sometimes, it's difficult to believe this is real. Before he leaves, he leaves a folded leaf of flimsi on the chair: ]

Those stitches better be right where I left them.

-R

Rex / Andy / Poe Freelance Heroes AU

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sneaks in here for an endtag AS THO THIS COULD BE ANYTHING BUT INCREDIBLY SHMOOPY