sekkritaus | Hogwarts / Wizarding World AU

Nah, just the pretty wizards, [ He quips back, breathless, as if he could even think about anyone else right now. As if she hadn't hijacked every single one of his senses. ]

Look, I would not forgive myself if I overdid it now and then didn't get to do this again later. [ But he did as she asked, gripping her hip and slowly pushing her down as he raised himself up, his lips falling open in overwhelmed pleasure as she sunk lower and lower on his cock. ]

Because I - fuck, I want you as many ways as I can have you, in the next few days. So I can exhibit a little --nghh-- [ He groaned as his eyes slid shut, her right body like a vice around him as he finally buried himself up to the hilt inside her. ] -- patience --

[ In that moment, she doesn't know the meaning of the word "patience." She might not even fully hear him say the word, because when he buries himself into her completely, her lips part on another breathless moan, and the only thing that matters then is him inside her, as deep as he can be, bringing their bodies flush together. One of her hands reaches to grip the edge of the tub, white-knuckled. It takes everything she has not to just start fucking herself on his cock — to give them both a second, just to have him in her without losing an inch. ]

Oh, is that what we're doing the next few days? [ A faint hint of dryness, even when her voice is nothing but a low murmur. She nudges the tip of her nose against his cheek as her mouth brushes a light kiss to the line of his jaw. ] Almost makes this shitty safehouse feel like romantic getaway.

[ But whatever she says out loud, it's not like her priorities are all that different from his. She's the one that couldn't get as far as having her hair washed before pushing for this — and she's the one that can't help the urge to start rocking her hips now. The motion sloshes water precariously close to the rim of the tub, but Andy honestly couldn't give a damn. ]

[ Romantic getaway, she says, and Poe's heart freezes for a second, like it's been caught in the act. That - sure, that's probably what this looked like from the outside. What with him buried deep inside her with the unfortunate tendency to keep looking at her like she was the only thing in the universe that mattered. But that wasn't what their relationship was - it wasn't allowed to be. So even though a piece of him desperately wanted to cling to that, the rest of him hit the "danger, danger, abort" mode with a violent suddenness.

So he needed a way to strip the romance from the moment quickly, before this got too real and Andy got angry with him again. ]

Romance, huh? [ With just ebough of a sneer in his voice to make it sound like he found it laughable. He punctuated it with a sudden, sharp, thrust of his hips, a grunt torn from his lips as the pleasure was sudden enough to make him see sparks. ]

Is that what you'd call this?

[ He thrust up again, too hard, too desperate to mask just how right she actually was. He shifted his grip, one arm clutching the edge of the tub and the other securely around her waist as he started driving into her, the water sloshing righ out of the tub with every punishing thrust. It wasn't really what he wanted - but she'd called him out on his softness and the last thing he wanted was for her to frost over for the next few days.

Though it wasn't like it felt bad to lay into her, as he started fucking her as hard and as deep as he could, from this angle. ]

[ This is a situation of her own making. She did this. Years ago, when they were still in school, that brief moment in time where they tried being more than friends — and she couldn't face the intensity of her own feelings, even then. Back when things were simple. When all they had to worry about was exams and Quidditch practice. When nobody had a duty that might kill them. Back then, she was the one that broke things off. The one that said it would never work that way between them. That he couldn't say he loved her if he wanted her to stay.

So she's the one that has to ignore that unbidden tightening in her chest when she hears the slight sneer in his voice. She doesn't get to be hurt by it, not over a stupid joke — and not after all the times she's lashed out at him for the same damn thing. It's almost a relief — the distraction of that abrupt, hard thrust. She exhales harshly, gripping the edge of the tub tighter as he starts to pound her deep — giving her that rough pleasure instead of the tenderness from minutes before. Something that bordered too close to making love for comfort.

This is better. Easier. Even if it's not what either of them really wants, deep down. She won't think too hard about it. Instead, she wraps one arm around his shoulders, digging her fingers into skin and a few sparse feathers as she rocks her hips to meet him in a relentless pace, riding him hard as water spills out onto the tile all around them. ]

Don't stop. [ It's a harsh little whisper. ] Don't fucking stop.

[ It wasn't what he wanted but it was intoxicating all the same. The bite of her nails in his back made his spine arch into the thrust, the bite of pain what he needed to draw himself away from the fact that even now he wanted to just kiss her deeply and carry her to bed and tell her--

He cursed, roughly, the frantic pace an impossible one to keep up, but she had told him not to stop and so he wouldn't. He would strain every muscle and bite into his cheek to keep him off the edge as he fucked her, the bath half on the floor so that now he could actually see how her body met his at the deepest point of every thrust. ]

Fuck-- Fuck, Andy, I can't-- [ ~~I love you so much~~ ] You feel so fucking good --

[ He always feels good. She doesn't even try to hold out much longer, chasing that release as much as she's running away from her own feelings — focusing on his cock inside her, how each rough thrust hits just right, deep enough to leave her breathless and clawing at his back as he drives her towards that edge — ]

Ah — [ Her body tightens down on him as she starts to shake. For a few moments, there's nothing but the pleasure that wracks her whole being, purging all those thoughts of love and regret — nothing except the place where he's buried inside her, where she twitches around his cock as she pants, struggling to catch her breath. ] Fuck. Poe —

Edited 2018-12-30 06:37 (UTC)

[ He could feel it - could feel her come around him - and that was it, it was impossible to resist that. He swore again, breathlessly, hips jerking erratically as he slammed himself as deep as he could and held himself there, pleasure slamming into his gut impossibly hard as he came. He covered her breasts with rough, feverish kisses as he shuddered, each burst of pleasure making him pant her name against her skin. With a final pulse he felt absolutely empty, his iron grip on her releasing. His fingers had dug so tight in the end he'd probably left bruises.

His bones felt like jelly and he could feel the evidence of their combined pleasure slide down his cock as it pulsed, deflating even as he tried to keep it buried in her.

He wasn't expecting for the sudden desperate longing to hit him as bad as it did. For all his feelings to sudden burst to the forefront and quiver on the end of his tongue. For him to half to fight it down, feeling utterly queasy as he tried to tell himself that he wasn't allowed. You can't love her, Poe. You're not allowed. If you love her, she'll leave.

He nearly choked on the emotion, pressing his face into her chest to hide the way it twisted on his face, the way it threatened to leak from his eyes.

Fuck, he loved her. And he really, really needed to get over it, or she was going to see it as clearly as day. ]

Edited 2018-12-30 13:56 (UTC)

[ Fuck, she loves him. And she really, really needs to get over it, because she’s the one that drew that line in the sand and those consequences are hers to own now. Even this - this unnamed intimacy she keeps calling friendship - it has to be temporary. Someday he’ll fall in love and settle down and this will have to go away. Sometimes she becomes painfully aware of that fact - like now, as he buries his face against her chest, as she brings her other hand to the back of his head to hold him against her. Can he hear the way her heart throbs in her chest for him? It feels as though her entire body wants to betray her to him when they’re together like this.

She bows her head to press a kiss into his hair, her embrace tightening for a moment. His name is a soft, muffled murmur that just barely escapes her. It’s hard to want to move - some part of her isn’t ready to pull away just yet - but there’s not much excuse to linger either. Even though all she wants just then is to keep holding him, to stay close and feel how solid he is, how real and tangible, when all she’s had these past few months is her memories of him. But if she doesn’t pull away now, it’ll only feel harder later, and she’s his friend, not his lover, so there’s no reason to sit around in a half-filled tub just to have a few more minutes pressed together.

Andy moves to stand, letting his cock slip free of her as she gets up. Water clings to the hollows of her body, dripping from all that long dark hair as she climbs out of the bath and fetches her wand. A few murmured spells - one for her, and one for the wet tile. Only then does she finally speak, her heart still feeling heavy even as she defaults to her usual dryness: ]

Guess you really did miss me.

[ Her embrace tightens around him, and he swears he can hear his name on her lips against his hair, and for a moment he feels like maybe she loves him after all. Maybe all this is just bravado and posturing and--

But then she gets up, and Poe's throat clenches hard, and he just feels hollow - longing so much for something that he can't have, but can't stop himself stealing pieces of, anyway. Fuck. Fuck, he's an idiot. Why the fuck does he do this to himself?

Her dry tone cuts the silence and a flare of despair grips him again but he pushes through it. What else was there to do? He didn't want anyone else. He just wanted to be with her, for as long as she would let him.

He just wished she loved him, too. ]

Looks like it. [ But he doesn't have the heart to put the humour back in it. And he doesn't have the strength to give her the honest answer - that he'd missed her more than anything.

Slowly, he pushed himself out of the bath, dark hair pressed in wet ringlets against his forehead. He went for his wand but only just barely whisked the water from himself. He left his hair damp. ]

Think our luck is good enough that someone thought to leave us robes?

[ She watches him from the corner of her eye, her answer half-delayed by something she hears in his voice — or doesn't hear, maybe. It's not anything she can put her finger on, but as close as they've been all these years, she can still tell when something isn't quite right. Was it something she said? Something she didn't say? Or maybe they're both just tired. Who wouldn't be, after the couple months they've had?

Her gaze drifts away. She lifts her hands to smooth wet hair back from her face as she turns to wander back out into the hall. ]

Do we need the robes? [ Wryly, as she starts to investigate which room might be the bedroom — with a closet maybe, and hopefully with those robes. ] I could have sworn you said you wanted me "as many ways as you can have me, in the next few days."

[ Yeah. He'd said that. And he'd meant it. Even though now all he wanted to do was kiss her until she relented and loved him back.

Cool. ]

I might need twenty minutes. [ Dryly, and a little rougher than usual. He'd never been good at pretending to feel things he didn't. Or to not feel what he did. ] Though you should know better than to trust a word out of my mouth when I'm that turned on.

[ Maybe then he'd get away with accidentally saying he loved her. ]

[ She glances at him over her shoulder, giving him a wry little look before disappearing into what must be the bedroom. Her voice carries over the sound of her digging through the dressers and trying the closet for some spare robes that might fit either of them. ]

Oh, is that how it is? [ Even the distance can't really stifle the mocking sarcasm in her words, habitual as it is. ] And here I thought maybe those sweet nothings were special just for me.

[ Not that she means anything by it. Not in the way a person might think anyway — jealousy isn't one of the problems in their relationship, though there might be many. They're too close for that by now. There's too much history. ]

You kidding? I'm way more romantic with my dates.

[ He wasn't totally lying - even his hook ups were always fairly romantic in the traditional idea of the world. He was charming and suave and could talk the pants off anyone.

He just didn't mean any of it. Not a word. And then he had Andy, to whom he meant all of it, and couldn't say it. He was starting to get angry with himself, for falling into this trap again. He knew better. He knew better, and yet couldn't stop himself. Months he'd spent thinking about her and here she was, about whether she was okay and if he would see her again.

And now she was here and he was ruining it anyway. ]

You get all my misfires.

Right. Misfires. Sure.

[ Deadpan, like she doesn't completely buy that. She's stupid about a lot of things when it comes to Poe Dameron, but she's not so naive that she would call the things he says to her misfires. She would know — she's been the drunk hook-up type for years. She's had her share of misfires and then some. It's nothing like when he holds her close, looks her in the eye and tells her how good she feels, or how he wants to be reckless with her. ]

How are you still single, Dameron?

[ She re-emerges from the bedroom with mockery and... Two sweaters. Large ones. At least a decade out of style. No robes, apparently. So. She holds out the two sweaters for him to pick one. ]

[ It was good the sweaters appeared, because the question made him bristle way more than it should. He knew it was just banter and he knew she didn't mean it in any deeper way, but he couldn't help hearing it anyway. She knew exactly why he was single. She's ensured that years ago. ]

What, you that eager to see me shack up with someone? [ It came out more bitter than he intended as he grabbed the more orange of the two sweaters and started pulling it on. ]

It's not like you keep any long term love interests either.

Might be. Could be kinda cute, having little Poe Damerons running around.

[ She answers dismissively, letting him have the orange sweater as she tugs the other one over her head. It's a weird olive green with awkward patches on the elbows, but it's soft and warm, so she can't complain too much. ]

Besides, why the fuck would I need something long-term? [ Her shoulders shrug underneath that baggy jumper. ] If I want to get laid, I have you.

Hah. Not going to happen, so don't get your hopes up.

[ It wasn't even that he was against having kids, necessarily. He just didn't even think about them. What was the point, if it would be without Andy?

The last comment stung far deeper that it meant to, and Poe frowned as he tugged at the edges of the sweater, falling just barely half way down his thighs. He tugged at it roughly, not looking at her. ]

Yeah. Least I'm good for something. [ He muttered, and even he could hear the bitterness in it. He let out a breath and started down the hall. ]

I specifically requested Giggle Water, so there better be some.

[ The tone of his voice makes her pause again, eyebrows slightly pinched at his back as he turns away to move down the hall. Can't they just — sweep whatever emotional hiccup they just had under the rug and push through, back to their version of normal? Blame it on feelings running high after so much time apart and leave well enough alone.

Maybe the alcohol will help. If anybody followed through on that request for Giggle Water. Debatable though — Andy's been known to be a mercurial drunk. ]

You're good for plenty. [ She answers mildly at length, finally coming to catch up with him. ] But there's not much point in going through the trouble with someone new. We've been fucking since our Hogwarts days — you already know what I like.

[ That's the excuse anyway. ]

Uh huh.

[ He sighed, trying to shove it all away again. It didn't matter. He didn't know why he was so prickly- it wasn't as if anything has changed. So he forced himself to turn around and forced himself to smirk at her in his stupid sweater. ]

Which is how I know you love it when I say shit like I'm going to take you in every way I can have you while I'm feeling you up.

[ There. See? Completely unromantic. Cool. Great. The subject could be closed now forever. ]

[ Andy gives him a flat little look. Not because she wouldn’t be into that exactly - funny how being in love with a person for half your life will make you amenable to most anything that involves their hands on you - but he is being prickly. Which is, in turn, making her prickly. ]

Yeah, that’s real sexy, Dameron. [ Dryly: ] Almost makes me want to tear that ugly sweater off you.

[ Instead, she brushes by him on her way to the kitchen to look for something alcoholic. Over her shoulder: ]

Maybe after you tell me what the hell crawled up your ass and died just now.

Nothing.

[ It's a blatant lie. He follows her into the kitchen and starts digging around for booze. ]

I'm fine.

[ Still obviously a lie. ]

I'm just - tired. [ More honest. ] It was a long couple of months. [ Technically true. ]

[ She knows he’s not fine. And honestly? It pisses her off a little that he would try to pass such a blatant lie by her - her, his bedt friend since puberty. It’s hypocrisy, of course, but it doesn’t stop the feeling. ]

Don’t do that. [ Andy crouches to try a few of the cabinets. ] if you don’t want to tell me, fine. But don’t say it’s alright when it’s not.

Fine. I'm upset but I don't want to talk about it.

[ He found the alcohol in one of the upper cupboards, but it wasn't giggle water, it was fire whisky. Great. Well at least that way he'd feel like he'd want to die on double time.

He pulled out two of the bottles, and held one out to her. ]

I'm sure I'll feel better once we fuck it out of me. [ He managed to only sound a little bitter. ]

Edited 2018-12-31 06:31 (UTC)

[ Yeah. Okay. She's going to need a drink before she deals with this. Andy helps herself to a big swig of fire whiskey — ah, fuck, that stuff always burns — wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and setting the bottle down on the table harder than really necessary. ]

Alright. Fine.

[ She's closing distance now, with some determination — putting her hands on him, shoving him up against the kitchen counter, and roughly wedging her thigh between his. ]

Is this how you fucking want it? [ Her voice has gone low and little biting. ] You'd rather do this then just talk to me?

You don't want to talk, Andy. [ His body wasn't help him, though. He had been in negative percentage points for his arousal literally three seconds ago, but her thigh presses against him and he stirs anyway, despite himself. He didn't reach out for her, though. Just took her shoves. ]

Because soon as I start talking you're going to give me shit. It doesn't matter. Okay? Yeah. I fucking missed you. More than you missed me, probably.

I spent like four weeks of it half convinced you were dead. And when I finally get to see you, you gotta go and make fun of me for making it romantic or whatever and it totally ruins my mood.

[ Technically the truth. It did ruin his mood, but not the way he's implying. ]

I'm just relieved to see you and happy to be here. You don't need to get on my case about it.

[ This is how you convinced someone you didn't love them, right? By getting offended at the implication? ]

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