killtime: (pic#12062904)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-20 08:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It might be tired and half-hearted, but his answer still earns a faint, wry smile — a fleeting little twist of her mouth that flickers away as Andy obliges the hand at her back and finally steps inside. In that small space, behind a closed door, she exhales and lets something weary sink into her posture, as if the facade of her strength has ebbed. She seems... Small. ]

Might as well be. You're stuck with me whether I smell or not.

[ She reaches to put one hand on his shoulder, using it to keep her balance as she finishes undressing, down to nothing but skin and scrapes and bruises. Quietly, with her face turned away: ]

...I wish I could swear to you that I'd never let this happen to him again.
killtime: (pic#12062918)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-20 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She watches him back, meeting his eyes as she moves on him. Memorizing the details, maybe — committing the little things to memory, for however long she'll get to keep them. Centuries from now, she still wants to remember the way he looks at her, how it feels to have his hands on her — even just the way his breath catches when their bodies meet just so. ]

Don't need you to give up much. [ Her wryness goes low. ] A little sleep, maybe.

[ She only breaks his gaze to look down as she finally reaches between them, exhaling as she eases the tip of his cock up inside her. ]
killtime: (pic#12062998)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-21 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
[ The rough edge of his voice on her name goes straight between her thighs, a flush of heat that makes everything below her waist draw tight. After all these centuries, nobody should affect her like this anymore, but Poe always manages to do it anyway — and she can't even be mad about it, not when he's pressing that warm kiss to her skin and starting to move against her.

Her arms automatically reach out to wrap around him, one hand tangling in the hair at the back of his neck. Maybe she isn't so good at speaking her true emotions aloud, but the way she holds him close to her isn't the embrace of a one night stand or a casual fling — she holds him like a lover, with a certain need in the way her fingers grasp a little too tightly.

She shifts to widen the spread of her knees, letting herself sink down all the way into his lap, just to feel him fill her deep. The words are barely there when she speaks, hushed and heated and a little impulsive, exhaled into the small space between them:
]

Tell me again how you love me.
killtime: (pic#12062904)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-21 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It makes something clench tight in her chest, to hear him say these things and feel that same sentiment resonate inside her — feelings she's tried to smother for a century, a hundred years or more where nothing mattered and everything was transient. She had been existing in a blur of blood and blasterfire, moving from place to place with no attachment to anything or anyone. Apathetic. Numb. The galaxy felt like a vast emptiness. If someone had managed to kill her back then, it might have been a relief.

But somehow, she ended up here instead. And with them, it's the most alive she's felt in longer than she can really remember.

She holds him tighter as they move together, closer to her — close enough that her nose brushes against his temple, putting her mouth close to his ear when she answers:
]

I love you so much it scares me. [ The words are barely there, quiet and rough, as if each syllable struggles to free itself from her throat. ] I love you so much it hurts.
ct_7567: (NO HELMET - in denial)

[personal profile] ct_7567 2018-12-21 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Rex had been ready to argue. He's got plenty to say - more than he thought he did, if he was being honest. He'd known he was unhappy Andy was gone but he didn't know how much it had affected him by now, how riled up he'd get at her easy dismissal of everything they've built up together, the anger burning in his gut that she'd rather fight than sit down and talk about whatever it is that really transpired between Poe and Andy. His mouth is open, in fact, ready for a quick retort that will likely do no more than make things worse. He doesn't care. He's never been one to mince words and today's not going to be the day he tries subtlety on for size.

But then Poe speaks, and all the fight winds out of him. Saying these things out loud has never been important to him. And, frankly, reciprocation has never been important to him either. It's never mattered whether or not he was as important to these two idiots as they are to him. But it's important to Poe, isn't it? If it wasn't, he wouldn't have said anything in the first place. He would have just rode along whatever the kriff this was, the same as he and Andy have. It's only then that he lets his arms fall back to his sides, looking over at Poe instead of angry, brow creased. ]


Poe, [ he says, helpless, beseeching, but that only lasts a moment before he's squaring his shoulders again, a certain ferocity in the set of his jaw. ]

She can forget it all she wants. I won't.

[ And hell, if Poe won't protect himself, Rex will protect him for him. He may not be holding Andy back physically, but he's still placed squarely between the two without any apparent intention to move. ]
ct_7567: (NO HELMET - strategy table)

[personal profile] ct_7567 2018-12-22 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ Rex doesn't answer for a moment. It may feel more as though he's shunning her than he is, though he turns on the fresher and guides her into the spray, manhandling her until her back's facing him, lathering up his hands and working the shampoo through her hair. In truth, he doesn't know what to say. A year in the military has made him superstitious in odd ways and expressing how he really feels seems oddly as though it will jinx them, as though he'll say one wrong thing and they'll lose him forever. A soldier's foolishness, perhaps, but the words stick in his throat nonetheless. The water beneath them runs in streaks of brown and red as the water pelts off the surface level of grime and blood layered on their skin.

Andy needs more reassuring than he can honestly give her right now. It pains him. When he speaks again, it's abrupt, long after she might think her words have been ignored. ]
I've lived long enough to know you can't do that. And if he wasn't the sort to do... that, you wouldn't still be here. Nor would I.

[ The fact that the same traits that have bound them together are the same ones that throw them relentlessly into danger over and over again is almost torturous. He wishes things could be different, but they can't. None of them would be happy that way. Maybe he was never meant for a life like Cut's, bound to a single homestead, happy with little joys of domesticity. Theirs is a different sort of life. But the way they make him feel seems so much grander than anything else he's ever felt too. To turn it away may be the best way to guard his heart, but he doesn't have it in him. He presses a kiss to the back of her bare shoulder, his stubble rough against her, hoping that somehow she can read what he means without him having to say it. ]

The two of you have always been wild. We knew that going in.
killtime: (pic#12062931)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-22 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
Right. Because that's the kind of thing I can just forget. [ She snaps back defensively, agitated in her movements as she straightens her jacket out with a few rough tugs. ] Take some fucking responsibility.

[ As if Poe had done something to her — by telling her he loved her and Rex. Or by calling her out on her own feelings. Feelings that she'd thought she was keeping well under wraps, never to see the light of day. It leaves her raw and frustrated, knowing he's right about her and wanting it to be less intensely true than it is. Yes, she feels something for them — but that's stupid and sentimental of her, and it only means that everything will hurt more later.

How can she say the words out loud when the only thing that gives her is a heart broken twice over when they're gone?
]

You don't know what you're asking for. [ Her hard stare turns on Rex, accusing. ] Neither of you knows what the fuck this is. [ It's cruel when she speaks, sharp like the knife she keeps in her boot — things she'll regret saying a second after the words are free, though maybe some part of her hopes her cruelty will lay this to rest forever. ] One of you would fall in love with just about anybody, and the other hasn't even alive long enough to be in love before. I've loved people longer than both of your lives combined. And I'm telling you that all you've fucking done is set us all up to be hurt.
ct_7567: (NO HELMET - facepalm)

[personal profile] ct_7567 2018-12-22 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
What -- [ Rex had plenty to say before Poe went ahead and stunned Andy. He reflexively reaches out, catching her by the crook of her elbow to keep her propped up, legs dangling uselessly beneath her. And then Poe tries to leave. He grabs onto his elbow too, his grasp just as firm. ] What are you -- now, hold on!

[ It's rare that he feels truly out of his depth, but he feels it now, all of his anger and fear tipping into something more clear-headed. This is stupid. This whole ordeal is stupid. All that anyone is saying is simply reaffirming their love for one another in the worst way possible and now they're fighting about it. He rounds on Andy. ]

You absolute ass! [ He can't say that she was wholly wrong about him. He's loved before. He's loved dearly. But he's never been in love and his inexperience runs so deep that poor Poe had to tell him how he felt before he managed to figure it out. So he doesn't run with that. ] I know exactly what this is, and so does Poe. You're the only one who has a problem with it. I love that man, and god help me, for some reason I love you too, and I don't give a bantha's ass whether or not you can say the same. [ Never before has a declaration of love sounded so much like chiding an errant child, his voice raised and cheeks blooming red, eyes wild. ] You do not speak to him that way, and you don't get to make the decision of how we're dealing with this for us. I'd already lost everything before I met you idiots.

[ She knows that full well. He'd been stranded when they'd found him, away from his home, his family, from everyone he's ever known and loved. All that he ever loved died the same day the Republic did, either struck down where they stood or corrupted beyond reason, wholly unrecognizable as the men they once were.

And then he rounds on Poe. ]
And you! You are not leaving me with this mess!

[ He drags them both towards him and towards each other with a real danger of simply knocking their heads together. ]

You are going to stay here, and you are going to sort your shit out! Now! [ He lets go of them both, sending Andy hurtling down to the ground, flinging his arms up in the air in a rare show of unrestrained emotion, even if that emotion happens to be exasperation. His voice rises further into the loud, commanding sort of timbre one would use to get people's attention in a military bunker, only it's absolutely unnecessary in their small quarters. It's easy to forget his previous position much of the time, happy as he is to take the others' leads, but now he sounds every inch the Captain he once was, even if the substance of what he says is anything but professional. ]

This is ridiculous! You don't have the right to hold your age over us when you're acting like a child!

[ Is it so much to deal with matters of the heart with some goddamn dignity? Is that really so much to ask for? ]

We are going to sit down, and we are going to talk! [ He waves a finger in Andy's face. ] And that includes you!
killtime: (pic#12062952)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-22 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
Fuck! [ He shot her. He actually fucking shot her. ] What the hell, Dameron — [ She's half-shouting over Rex now, pissed off that she's stunned from the waist down and pissed off twofold because she can't help being half-impressed. ] Fucking —

[ She's not even really listening — yes, she's an ass, yes, she's the one with the big fucking problem, and — wait, what? Rex can't just — say that to her! Like, really? Right now? When he's got her limply dangling by one arm and they're all yelling at each other in the hallway? Don't either of these jerks have any sense of timing?

Though maybe it is strategic, in a way, because it does get her to shut up and stop fighting long enough for him to get his words out. At least up until the point where he drops her.
]

Are you kidding me — [ Thump. She hits the floor with her teeth bared in annoyance. Did she earn that? Absolutely. Is it dignified? Not at all. ] What is it with you two and just saying those damn words whenever you feel like it? Fuck. [ It's honestly a little overwhelming. She can't understand it. She's done nothing but be terrible these past several days, whether with her words or with her absence. She doesn't deserve that sentiment. She can't... ] What's wrong with you? [ She glares hotly at Poe first. ] I am a liar. I've said awful shit to you. And you — [ That dark, stormy stare hits Rex next. ] You haven't even seen me with my clothes off before!

[ As if the only time she has any redeeming qualities is when she's in the nude. ]
ct_7567: (NO HELMET - glares)

[personal profile] ct_7567 2018-12-22 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
Your being naked has nothing to do with it. We've been fighting beside each other for long enough, [ Rex snaps, because honestly. Having feelings for someone with none of the sex may be the worst case scenario for Andy but while Rex can't deny the appeal of what his mind has been extremely unhelpfully conjuring up ever since Poe brought the possibility to his attention, sex has very little to do with it. Andy's an ass. She's crude, she's mean and, right now, she's being an enormously petty liar who Rex would command to clean out the latrines for the next two months if he still had that sort of power. But she's also one of the most incredible people he's ever met.

He crosses his arms, scowling down at the two of them. He did say he wanted to talk, but he's not entirely certain where to go from here. ]


He's right, you know. If you wanted to avoid this whole ordeal, you would have left a long time ago. It's all going to end the same way, no matter what you do. Not that any shots needed to be fired today.

[ Strong words from the man who was ready to try his hand at whupping Andy's ass mere minutes ago. He scoops up the blaster in case Andy decides to get her hands on it and frowns down at it. Poe shouldn't have shot her. That was an immature reaction, even if she was throwing out every horrible thing she could think of saying. But... ]

Good shot, though.
killtime: (pic#12062924)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-22 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ Andy has, in the meantime, given up trying to make her legs work and has instead taken up staring at her own lower limbs as if they've betrayed her, apparently in cahoots with the two people she's desperately in love with against her own will. It's decidedly unbecoming for a woman of her years to be this petulant about anything, but honestly, she must not give a fuck, because she's blatantly sulking when she slumps down onto the floor, laying there on her back and pointed her disgruntled expression up at the ceiling. ]

...It was a good shot.

[ She can admit that, even if she's still pissed at being the victim of said good shot. Easier than admitting anything else that needs admitting right now, anyway. ]

Fuck.

[ A muttered curse. She lifts one arm and drapes it over her eyes. It's hard to say if it's a half-hearted insult or a begrudging compliment when she goes on: ]

You're a couple of fucking stubborn bastards, you know that? [ A huffing exhale. ] What the hell am I supposed to do with you.
killtime: (pic#12062918)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-22 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Andy's never been particularly good with words herself — or maybe, somewhere in the blur of centuries, she stopped caring what she sounds like. Words are only that — words — no matter how sincerely they're uttered. And even if she'd promised to keep Poe safe and meant it, such promises are beyond her power. Rex understands. That's more reassuring than an empty oath. And his simple gestures are more comfort to her than anything that could be said out loud — just the press of his kiss to her shoulder, that familiar scratch of stubble, and the steady rhythm of his hands working their way through all her long hair.

She turns her head slightly, just enough to see him out of the corner of her eye when she glances back through the spray of water.
]

Like you aren't just as bad as we are. Don't think that just because you're at my back I haven't seen you. [ It's wry, but quietly fond too. ] Sometimes I swear the two of you forget you're only human.

[ Though today's been a harsh reminder. ]
killtime: (pic#12062999)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-22 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's hard to say what takes her apart more — the perfect angle of his thrusts, or the passionate things he whispers. She shouldn't want that so badly — she shouldn't take those words into her heart and bury them there — but in the heat of the moment, it's too hard to pretend that she isn't moved by that bittersweet sentiment when he says he'll always love her. Even as flawed as she is. Even though she'd been trying to pick a fight with him, not too long ago. Always, he says, right here — and it pierces to the core of all her hopes and fears, all the things that makes her struggle inside with how much she loves them.

Centuries old, and she still doesn't have words good enough to answer him. She can only hold him tight, ducking her head to press her lips fervently to his. Her breaths comes hard in that minute space between each kiss as he fucks her, working her towards that that point where she's tense and barely holding herself back from the familiar edge — just trying to make this last a moment longer.
]
ct_7567: (NO HELMET - proud of your boy)

[personal profile] ct_7567 2018-12-22 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Rex had been happy to simply stay put so that Poe could stretch and rest, knowing that the chances of them simply going to sleep propped up to each other were fairly high - which isn't a bad thing, with Rex serving as an overly large pillow and Poe a glorified stuffed animal. He lets out a quiet noise of protestation once Poe shifts in his arms, moving in exactly the sort of way Rex had told him not to.

He opens his mouth to tell him off (because honestly, what had they just gone over?), but he loses that fight as soon as Poe's fingers touch his jaw. While Rex may play at resisting the others' whims a little more than they do, he's quickly learned that he's a weak man at heart, wholly useless against their considerable charms. He leans into the kiss instead of pushing it away, closing his eyes and raising one hand to card his fingers through the fine hairs at the nape of Poe's neck. When Poe speaks, Rex's eyes are still closed, nosing at Poe's cheek, forehead bumping gently up against his temple. ]


Of course I did, [ he says roughly, in a tone that others may mistake for gruffness rather than emotion. ] I'm yours, cyare.

[ A lifetime of being groomed to serve another isn't one that's shed so easily. Rex never did manage to make off the idea of belonging to another person and no matter what they may think about the matter, he'll always belong to and be bound in service to the two people he's found himself tangled up with. It's different this way, though. It's his choice to swear that devotion to them - and while one of their number may contest the point, they're his as well.

He loosens his grip, knuckles running down the vertebrae of Poe's neck as he remembers that sometimes Poe needs to hear it directly, just as Rex does, that pledging fealty and loyalty is not always enough. ]
I love you too.
killtime: (pic#12062904)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-24 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's almost torturous, those few moments he holds her tight, stalling her movements when every part of her body feels wound up and too warm — when she aches for him — but the frustrated little sound she starts to make gets lost on a half-startled exhale as she ends up sprawled out on the ground instead. No more complaints — kissing him back is a better use of her mouth. She gives him a hint of her teeth, her hands rough as they grasp at him, blunt nails digging into clothes and skin as she arches up against him, looking for friction, chasing that same edge as him —

She can't help it, when he says her name like that — over and over again, fervent and heated. It's just as good as being touched — better maybe, and more than enough to bring her home, leaving her clawing at him and squirming underneath him as all that tension breaks into helpless shudders. The noise she makes is half-bitten off, her eyes going unfocused as she trembles.
]

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