killtime: (pic#12287602)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-04 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Anything could have happened in three days — especially knowing their particular talent for attracting chaos — but small blessings, she's had nothing but time to stew and wait. ]

You're not that sorry. [ She responds wryly. ] Because I know damn well you're just going to do it again next time.

[ Then she'll be annoyed all over again. But, in the moment, it's hard to stay angry. She's just... Glad. To talk with him. To see that stupid smile on that stupidly handsome face. And maybe that relief doesn't show readily on her face — gods know she'd rather keep her feelings close to her chest — but when the urge rises to lean in and kiss him, she doesn't fight it too hard. Wild hair spills over her shoulder as she bends down, the press of her mouth to his soft where her words were hard. ]
killtime: (pic#12062977)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-04 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She lingers a little longer than she really needs to before tilting her head away. When she does, her dark eyes are warm, and her usual wryness is ever so slightly softened as she answers: ]

You better. I'm too fucking old to be dragging your body around like this. [ She's never said explicitly how old — but what few Scythians are left in the galaxy are notoriously long-lived. Centuries, at least. ] Practically threw my back out trying to get your dumb ass out of the wreckage.
killtime: (pic#12062986)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-04 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Wasn't for you. [ Dryly: ] I was just worried I'd get bored around here without your dumb ass.

[ She says that, but she readily leans down when his hand lifts towards her, putting herself in easier reach for him to brush that stray hair from her face. Damn, but she's softer for him than she should be. Soft for his smile and his teasing. ]

Besides, if I left you behind, I'd have to answer to Rex.
killtime: (pic#12062936)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-04 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She knows that's not true — that romantic notion. He's not invincible, their Poe, even though he might seem like it sometimes, with that damnably good luck. This whole thing — these agonizing past three days, they've been an all too poignant reminder of that. But she doesn't know how to articulate her fear, how unsteady it had made her feel — how to explain why she couldn't sleep and couldn't eat and couldn't do anything but miserably smoke the last few nights away, just waiting for any sign that he'd wake up and come back to them.

She's never been very good at that. She only knows how to play it off. How to let her wryness come to the surface over all the soft, vulnerable things she might have said instead. There's only the little things, like how she lingers when he touches her face, keeping herself close when it would be easy to pull away.
]

Famous last words, Dameron. [ There's her eternal wryness. ] Though, on second thought, it could be kind of hot to get a dressing down from the big guy. [ With a twinge of mockery: ] You'll have to let me know, after he comes in here to lecture you for almost blowing yourself up.
killtime: (pic#12062986)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-05 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
[ She gives an easy shrug of her shoulders and an amused little quirk of her mouth. ]

Oh, is that why you're always putting yourself in mortal danger? [ Dryly: ] So much of your reckless bullshit makes sense now.

[ But the words can't be anything but fond, even if habitual mockery gives her voice a slight edge. Look at her, the way she leans into his touch — how she ducks her head a bit, just to press her lips briefly to the pad of his thumb. ]

Should've known your dick's been doing the driving this entire time.
killtime: (pic#12062937)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-05 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ That question makes her visibly sober up a little. It's been... Hard. Not only because of her own concern for Poe, but because she's had to helplessly watch Rex worry too. That's the trouble with loving two people — twice the opportunity to hurt. And at the same time, she isn't sure what she would've done without Rex there to struggle with her. To be her anchor.

As much as she likes to claim she's better solo, that's never really been true. Now more than ever. She —

She needs them.
]

...It hasn't been the greatest three days. [ That's what she goes for, at length. Words fail to describe what it was like, with Poe so still and quiet, her and Rex restless and frustrated and... Scared. ] He'll be glad to see you. [ A pause, then a bit quietly: ] He really loves you, you know.
killtime: (pic#12062904)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-05 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ There's an unspoken comfort in that. In a selfish way, it makes her emotional inadequacies seem less like a terrible, unbridgeable chasm when she can trust that Rex and Poe will still have each other in the moments where she fails. Moments where she lies and says she feels nothing. Moments where she'd rather run away than face the intensity of her love. She's deeply imperfect — secretive, angry inside, and more afraid of being hurt than she'll ever admit — but she's never wanted them to have less than they deserve.

Andy exhales heavily, suddenly feeling the weight of the past several days. Wordlessly, she nudges gently at him, to see if he'll be able to move over a little — just a little, enough to make a small space for her to carefully crawl into the cot beside him.
]
killtime: (pic#12063005)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-05 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's a selfish desire to be close when he's still battered and bruised, but she can't bring herself to regret it too much — not when she's missed this like being homesick. It feels good to be tucked against his side. It feels right. For the first time in days, she feels like she can be halfway at ease. And rest a little. Maybe close her eyes a minute.

She lets one hand rest carefully over his chest, her palm pressed against the place where his heart beats.

Very quietly, tired and a bit rough around the edges:
]

I missed you.

[ So much. Even though he hadn't really gone anywhere at all. ]
killtime: (pic#12062924)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-05 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She knows the words without having to hear them - and her tired old hesrt clenches tight under her ribs right on cue. It’s a strange, conflicted mess of feelings she always gets - that instinct towards fight or flight, some part of her that always wants to insist that he shouldn’t - and at the same time, this overwhelming reciprocation, a warmth that fills her and lingers after the words have been formed. Unconsciously, the hand over his heart tenses slightly, her fingertips digging into the fabric of his shirt - betraying, in some minute way, that conflict she feels.

He almost died. He should hear her say it back. Even if sometimes the words feel like glass in her throat - a painful truth. An acknowledgement that she has so much to lose.

Andy turns to bury her face against him, muffled and quiet when she answers:
]

I love you too.
killtime: (pic#12062998)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-05 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She's lucky to be loved with such patience — not everybody would endure it, those long stretches where she goes without acknowledging the things she feels or how strongly she feels them. Maybe she's come a long way from outright denying it — a long way from that day when they fought in the cockpit and she chose disappearing over admitting the truth — but her warmth is the kind that needs a little stoking.

Thankfully, Poe's always been good at that.

She should insist that he rests. He must still be hurting — she doesn't need to be human to know his body is only barely out of the woods at best — but selfishly, she'd rather press her mouth against his, basking in the familiarity of how his lips fit to hers. All those days of worrying and waiting culminate in a kiss that's a little harder than it should be, driven by her sudden need to feel him and be close to him.
]
killtime: (pic#12062928)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-06 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ She's lived for hundreds of years and had more lovers than she can remember — nobody should affect her so easily anymore, but somehow, he always does. Even when he's still in his literal sickbed, not even conscious for an hour yet. Maybe that's love — or maybe it's just Poe Dameron — but he gets her weary heart-and-a half beating fast just by pressing close. It's cramped and awkward and she doesn't give a single damn about it.

She lifts her hand to cup his face, fondly brushing her thumb against his cheek. It's a low murmur into the nearly nonexistent space between their mouths when she speaks, wry and warm:
]

We keep going like this, and you'll end up bedridden another three days. Then we'll both be in trouble with Rex.
killtime: (pic#12062892)

[personal profile] killtime 2018-12-06 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She huffs out an amused little breath as she obligingly tucks herself up against his side. ]

You’re worse than I am.

[ But it doesn’t sound as much like a reprimand as it probably should. Particularly not when she’s casually draping her arm over him to take his other hand in hers, tangling their fingers together. There’s so much warmth buried under that hard exterior of hers, utterly inaccessible to anyone except the two men aboard this ship. ]

You sure you can survive a few more days?

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[personal profile] killtime - 2018-12-06 17:41 (UTC) - Expand