sekkritaus | Hogwarts / Wizarding World AU

[ The banter was already halfway formed on his tongue - No, you're right, I'd rather make the choir sing - but it was way, way too intimate a moment to remind them both of that particular aspect of their friendship. That was way too close to feelings. And if Poe had learned one thing, it was that the quickest way to get Andy to go cold on him was to imply those might be involved. And at the moment, he was too relieved to see and be with her to be able to pretend to just need a way to get off.

It was fine. Her friendship meant more to him than any romantic feelings ever would. So instead he gave her a rueful, slightly apologetic smile. ]

No, sorry. I just get so damn riled up about the whole thing. [ The closest thing he would do to feelings, right now, was lean in and press the quickest, purest peck of a kiss to her shoulder as an apology. ]

I'd rather spend a few days with you and maybe a bottle of giggle water and not think about any of that.

[ That brief, chaste kiss to her shoulder still draws all her attention to the place where his mouth so fleetingly presses against her skin. She’s been ignoring all the bruises and cuts, all the places that are sore and achy - but she can’t ignore that. It makes her want... ]

I could think of worse ways to spend a few days.

[ There’s a tangible pause. Then, finally, she lifts her hands to brush his away, just so she can turn around in the water to face him. She does nothing but watch him for another beat - then, as if some internal decision’s been made, she reaches out to cradle his face in her hands, holding him still so she can lean in to kiss him.

It doesn’t matter. They’ve been kissing since their school days. She’s memorized the way his lips feel by now. And if being apart from him so long makes the moment a little more poignant, well - that’s only natural, isn’t it? ]

[ She turns, and he draws in a breath, his eyes locked on her face. She's gorgeous, he's always known this, but there's something particularly sharp in the way she's looking at him now, hair half tamed in a dark, wild frame down her face, the wet locks sticking to the skin of her throat and her chest, curling past a few dark bruises on her shoulders.

So when she finally reached out to touch his face, when she finally leaned in to kiss him, it was like all the tension in him was suddenly released. His heart thumped, skipping a beat, the way it always did when someone kissed their best friend in a bath tub when she looked like she'd come through hell just to see him.

He let out a soft, relieved sound against her lips as he returned the kiss, eyes sliding shut as his mouth parted against hers, slowly but deliberately deepening the kiss.

God, he had missed her. ]

[ Something she can’t say out loud: That it was the thought of him that kept her going - knowing she had to come home to him, and staying sharp and strong because of it. She’s built a hardened reputation among the aurors, to the point of jokes about invincibility and immortality - because of how she always returns unfazed from whatever hell she’s been sent off to. But it’s always the same motivation, the same thing that makes her determined to make it back at any cost - him. Her best friend. Her partner.

The bottom of the tub is hard against her knees as she shifts in the water to straddle his lap, but she barely notices it. The only thing that matters then is to be close - as close as possible, as if to make up for months apart. No more playing casual now. Her mouth is hot and hungry against his, taking that kiss as if it belongs to her. ]

[ It does belong to her. It's always belonged to her, ever since the first fumbling attempts. Sure, he's lost count of the number of people he's kissed since - some of which she's also kissed - but in the end they always belonged to her.

His hands slid into the water to take her hips, pulling her up further onto his laps. The warm water was delaying his body's reaction, but not by a whole lot - she could no doubt feel him stirring under her as she pressed against him, as he met that kiss with an answering hunger that soon bordered on desperate.

He wanted to tell her how badly he missed her, how badly he wanted her, but he didn't trust himself not to ruin it. So he answered, he reacted, but he left the driving force solely up to her.

She could take anything she wanted from him.

She always could. ]

[ The same unspoken sentiments had been swelling in her chest since the moment she laid eyes on him — no, since the moment she'd even heard he was back. And she knows that's foolish — recklessly sentimental even, because there's always the chance that someday she's going to drag her tired aching body back from a mission and he won't be there waiting with his stupid shiteating grin and his "Hey, Andy", casual as you please. That's just how it is in this line of work. People die. Reputation aside, she isn't infallible either.

It's a keen awareness of that fact that gives a hard edge to her kiss as she takes his mouth for her own, her hands sliding back into his hair, tugging at the roots and breaking up the tangled curls as her fingers look for purchase. She grinds down into his lap, rubbing her body against his under the water as she kisses him to the point of breathlessness — leaving her words rough and ragged when she finally whispers into that minute space between their mouths: ]

I hated it. [ Lowly: ] I hated not knowing where you were. If you were alive or dead.

[ He braces his feet against the porcelain, knees breaking the water as he shifted under her. If it was what he pretended it to me - just sex, just a release, his hands would have gone to her ass, holding her firmly against him as he grinded against her.

But instead he wrapped an arm around her back, fingers spreading over her spine, as the other came up to cup the side of her face, fingertips sliding into her hair. He still raises his hips though, still meets every push against him with a hitching breath. It wasn't long until he was rock hard, pressed a little awkwardly under her, but he didn't go to move it. Feeling her move against him was amazing in itself. ]

Me too. [ Here, he could admit that. She could see through his bravado anyway, there was no one else to show off to. ] I kept sending missives to check if you'd come back yet and get nothing -- If anything happened to you--

[ Something about what he says — the vulnerable honesty — makes her stop, just for a second. Just so she can look him in the face and answer him in a way that leaves no room for doubt or argument. ]

Listen to me. [ It's a rough whisper. ] I will always come back.

[ There's an intensity to her eyes in that moment — something dark and determined. A promise. Once she'll be forced to break one day, because she's bound to her own mortality as much as anyone else, but until then — she'll do whatever she has to. Break whatever rules need to broken. Take whatever lives need to be taken. She's never been noble, she's never even really been good, but she is devoted. Stubborn. Every skill she's honed — hours on hours of dueling, secretly learning dark magic, becoming an Animagus — all to make sure that little to nothing can stand between her and coming home.

Because he is home to her. And she's loved him since before she was even old enough to really know what love was. ]

[ Her intensity is electrifying - to the point that Poe forgets how she's sitting in his lap, forgets any half formed thoughts of a casual fling here in the bath. For a moment all that just completely bled away - all he could feel was the pound of her pulse in her throat, and all he could see was the deadly promise in her eyes.

It wasn't a promise anyone could make. Especially in their line of work.

But he believed her.

A softer smile broke his lips, and he brushed his thumb across her cheek. ]

... Yeah. Don't know what I was thinking. There isn't a force on earth that could stop you from going anywhere you wanted.

[ Whatever tragedy the future holds, she made it back this time — and so did he. That counts for something, doesn't it. One more win. One mission at a time. It's doubtful either of them will ever be old and grey, but hell, she'll take as much time as she can get. If that means she has to fight and claw her way through months away chasing dark witches and wizards, then so be it. She'll do it to earn moments like this. Even if she comes home covered in dirt and blood and bruises. She'll take it.

Maybe that makes her stupidly sentimental — but nobody has to know that, and it's worth it, for this. To see him smile at her like that, warm with affection. ]

Sure. No force on Earth — except you, maybe, if you're feeling stubborn.

[ She leans to kiss that smile, a brief but familiar press of her lips as she shifts under the water, lifting her hips to make room for her to dip one hand down between her thighs. An audible exhale escapes her as she eases two fingers up inside herself. ]

That's the point though, isn't it.

[ He heard it, in her voice, even though he couldn't see through the bubbles in the water, he had a pretty good idea of what she was doing. He pulled her down for another kiss, his cock twitching to gently thump against her hand. Not intentionally, but how else could his body deal with this? ]

I'd never stop you. I'd be right there with you.

[ He ducked his head to kiss her throat, then her collarbone, his hand slipping down to trail down her skin, before carefully taking her breast in his hand and leaning in to press a kiss to the incredibly soft curve, squeezing gently. ]

[ He would be right there with her, wouldn't he? So long as it was in his power. He always has been — everything from detentions together until now, the aftermath of these missions where the stakes are so much higher than the childish antics of their shared youth. ]

That's because you're stupid and reckless. [ Fondness softens her wryness. ] Just like me.

[ He bows his head to kiss her skin and her free hand lifts to smooth his hair back from his forehead, giving her a better glimpse of his face as he leans to press his lips to her breast. She makes a breathless little sound when he squeezes, a quiet moan that barely escapes her as she works those two fingers deeper, spreading them apart to open herself up. ]

[ The sound is incredibly hot, and Poe has to pull back for just a second, just to catch the look on her face.

Fuck, she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. And he's seen plenty. But nothing in the world makes his heart pound in his chest like she does. She doesn't need to tell him what she's doing - what she wants. The anticipation is already building in him urgently, as returns to mouthing at her breast, lavishing it with his lips and tongue, squeezing it firmly even as he drew the nipple in between his teeth. One had stayed firmly on her back, but the other slipped down between them, grasping his cock beneath her.

He ground softly as he sucked, giving himself a few strokes before lining himself up behind her hand, sliding his cock up the cleft of her ass while he tried to wait impatiently for her fingers to finish her work. He kept dragging the head down close enough to brush over her knuckles as she worked her fingers inside of her, a teasing promise. (Or maybe a wordless plea. ) ]

Incredibly reckless. I want to be so reckless with you, Andy. I want no one to be able to figure out how we survive each other--

[ It's so much, just to have this — to be reminded so vividly of what it's like to be with him this way, after weeks of separation. Everything comes back in a rush. Nobody's ever known her body the way that he does. He's her favorite vice, her oldest habit, the one she won't ever quit, even if it fucking kills her. She's missed his hands on her, his mouth on her, his cock inside her — fuck, even just the sound of his voice when he says those stupid sentimental things to her. And maybe that isn't how friendship goes — maybe that's something else entirely — but she can't be bothered to dwell on it.

A few more minutes of foreplay probably wouldn't have hurt, not after the dry spell of that damn mission, but fuck it, she's done waiting. The drag of his cock has all her muscles tense with anticipation. It might be a little tight, but it's good enough. She pulls her fingers free, feeling for his hand under the water, urging him to line himself up and get inside her already. ]

Come on. [ It's a low, rough murmur. ] I want you. I want you now.

You sure? [ But the tone is so obviously ribbing, so teasing and flippant, that he grins through it.

He doesn't even let her answer before the head of his cock finally finds its target. Holding his cock firmly, he pressed upward just to barely breach it- but then drags the head away to run up against her clit, the slickness of his arousal obvious even under the water as he rubs himself against her, never quite giving what she wants.

But it's too much to resist for two long, and finally with a soft groan he lines himself up and raises his hips to slowly but firmly push himself into her. Not too deep. Not yet. He usually preferred to make her come, first, especially after not seeing her this long - so he was determined to take his time.

At least for a few seconds. ]

I want you too, Andy... Nothing in the world feels as good as you do...

[ The frustrated little noise she makes when he teases her is predictable — she should've guessed that Poe fucking Dameron would play around when she's so on edge to be fucked by him that just the brush of his cock against her clit makes her tangibly twitch. It's a relief to feel him finally push inside — then a frustration again, when he stops. Fuck. She bites down on another sound as she shifts restlessly in his lap. ]

Bet you say that to all the pretty witches. [ But it's distracted mockery at best. All her attention is on those few inches he has inside her — how it holds her open, filling her without the satisfaction of depth or friction. How it makes her ache for something more. In a minute, she might just try and sit the rest of the way down onto his cock. ] Are you really going to hold the fuck out on me right now?

Nah, just the pretty wizards, [ He quips back, breathless, as if he could even think about anyone else right now. As if she hadn't hijacked every single one of his senses. ]

Look, I would not forgive myself if I overdid it now and then didn't get to do this again later. [ But he did as she asked, gripping her hip and slowly pushing her down as he raised himself up, his lips falling open in overwhelmed pleasure as she sunk lower and lower on his cock. ]

Because I - fuck, I want you as many ways as I can have you, in the next few days. So I can exhibit a little --nghh-- [ He groaned as his eyes slid shut, her right body like a vice around him as he finally buried himself up to the hilt inside her. ] -- patience --

[ In that moment, she doesn't know the meaning of the word "patience." She might not even fully hear him say the word, because when he buries himself into her completely, her lips part on another breathless moan, and the only thing that matters then is him inside her, as deep as he can be, bringing their bodies flush together. One of her hands reaches to grip the edge of the tub, white-knuckled. It takes everything she has not to just start fucking herself on his cock — to give them both a second, just to have him in her without losing an inch. ]

Oh, is that what we're doing the next few days? [ A faint hint of dryness, even when her voice is nothing but a low murmur. She nudges the tip of her nose against his cheek as her mouth brushes a light kiss to the line of his jaw. ] Almost makes this shitty safehouse feel like romantic getaway.

[ But whatever she says out loud, it's not like her priorities are all that different from his. She's the one that couldn't get as far as having her hair washed before pushing for this — and she's the one that can't help the urge to start rocking her hips now. The motion sloshes water precariously close to the rim of the tub, but Andy honestly couldn't give a damn. ]

[ Romantic getaway, she says, and Poe's heart freezes for a second, like it's been caught in the act. That - sure, that's probably what this looked like from the outside. What with him buried deep inside her with the unfortunate tendency to keep looking at her like she was the only thing in the universe that mattered. But that wasn't what their relationship was - it wasn't allowed to be. So even though a piece of him desperately wanted to cling to that, the rest of him hit the "danger, danger, abort" mode with a violent suddenness.

So he needed a way to strip the romance from the moment quickly, before this got too real and Andy got angry with him again. ]

Romance, huh? [ With just ebough of a sneer in his voice to make it sound like he found it laughable. He punctuated it with a sudden, sharp, thrust of his hips, a grunt torn from his lips as the pleasure was sudden enough to make him see sparks. ]

Is that what you'd call this?

[ He thrust up again, too hard, too desperate to mask just how right she actually was. He shifted his grip, one arm clutching the edge of the tub and the other securely around her waist as he started driving into her, the water sloshing righ out of the tub with every punishing thrust. It wasn't really what he wanted - but she'd called him out on his softness and the last thing he wanted was for her to frost over for the next few days.

Though it wasn't like it felt bad to lay into her, as he started fucking her as hard and as deep as he could, from this angle. ]

[ This is a situation of her own making. She did this. Years ago, when they were still in school, that brief moment in time where they tried being more than friends — and she couldn't face the intensity of her own feelings, even then. Back when things were simple. When all they had to worry about was exams and Quidditch practice. When nobody had a duty that might kill them. Back then, she was the one that broke things off. The one that said it would never work that way between them. That he couldn't say he loved her if he wanted her to stay.

So she's the one that has to ignore that unbidden tightening in her chest when she hears the slight sneer in his voice. She doesn't get to be hurt by it, not over a stupid joke — and not after all the times she's lashed out at him for the same damn thing. It's almost a relief — the distraction of that abrupt, hard thrust. She exhales harshly, gripping the edge of the tub tighter as he starts to pound her deep — giving her that rough pleasure instead of the tenderness from minutes before. Something that bordered too close to making love for comfort.

This is better. Easier. Even if it's not what either of them really wants, deep down. She won't think too hard about it. Instead, she wraps one arm around his shoulders, digging her fingers into skin and a few sparse feathers as she rocks her hips to meet him in a relentless pace, riding him hard as water spills out onto the tile all around them. ]

Don't stop. [ It's a harsh little whisper. ] Don't fucking stop.

[ It wasn't what he wanted but it was intoxicating all the same. The bite of her nails in his back made his spine arch into the thrust, the bite of pain what he needed to draw himself away from the fact that even now he wanted to just kiss her deeply and carry her to bed and tell her--

He cursed, roughly, the frantic pace an impossible one to keep up, but she had told him not to stop and so he wouldn't. He would strain every muscle and bite into his cheek to keep him off the edge as he fucked her, the bath half on the floor so that now he could actually see how her body met his at the deepest point of every thrust. ]

Fuck-- Fuck, Andy, I can't-- [ ~~I love you so much~~ ] You feel so fucking good --

[ He always feels good. She doesn't even try to hold out much longer, chasing that release as much as she's running away from her own feelings — focusing on his cock inside her, how each rough thrust hits just right, deep enough to leave her breathless and clawing at his back as he drives her towards that edge — ]

Ah — [ Her body tightens down on him as she starts to shake. For a few moments, there's nothing but the pleasure that wracks her whole being, purging all those thoughts of love and regret — nothing except the place where he's buried inside her, where she twitches around his cock as she pants, struggling to catch her breath. ] Fuck. Poe —

Edited 2018-12-30 06:37 (UTC)

[ He could feel it - could feel her come around him - and that was it, it was impossible to resist that. He swore again, breathlessly, hips jerking erratically as he slammed himself as deep as he could and held himself there, pleasure slamming into his gut impossibly hard as he came. He covered her breasts with rough, feverish kisses as he shuddered, each burst of pleasure making him pant her name against her skin. With a final pulse he felt absolutely empty, his iron grip on her releasing. His fingers had dug so tight in the end he'd probably left bruises.

His bones felt like jelly and he could feel the evidence of their combined pleasure slide down his cock as it pulsed, deflating even as he tried to keep it buried in her.

He wasn't expecting for the sudden desperate longing to hit him as bad as it did. For all his feelings to sudden burst to the forefront and quiver on the end of his tongue. For him to half to fight it down, feeling utterly queasy as he tried to tell himself that he wasn't allowed. You can't love her, Poe. You're not allowed. If you love her, she'll leave.

He nearly choked on the emotion, pressing his face into her chest to hide the way it twisted on his face, the way it threatened to leak from his eyes.

Fuck, he loved her. And he really, really needed to get over it, or she was going to see it as clearly as day. ]

Edited 2018-12-30 13:56 (UTC)

[ Fuck, she loves him. And she really, really needs to get over it, because she’s the one that drew that line in the sand and those consequences are hers to own now. Even this - this unnamed intimacy she keeps calling friendship - it has to be temporary. Someday he’ll fall in love and settle down and this will have to go away. Sometimes she becomes painfully aware of that fact - like now, as he buries his face against her chest, as she brings her other hand to the back of his head to hold him against her. Can he hear the way her heart throbs in her chest for him? It feels as though her entire body wants to betray her to him when they’re together like this.

She bows her head to press a kiss into his hair, her embrace tightening for a moment. His name is a soft, muffled murmur that just barely escapes her. It’s hard to want to move - some part of her isn’t ready to pull away just yet - but there’s not much excuse to linger either. Even though all she wants just then is to keep holding him, to stay close and feel how solid he is, how real and tangible, when all she’s had these past few months is her memories of him. But if she doesn’t pull away now, it’ll only feel harder later, and she’s his friend, not his lover, so there’s no reason to sit around in a half-filled tub just to have a few more minutes pressed together.

Andy moves to stand, letting his cock slip free of her as she gets up. Water clings to the hollows of her body, dripping from all that long dark hair as she climbs out of the bath and fetches her wand. A few murmured spells - one for her, and one for the wet tile. Only then does she finally speak, her heart still feeling heavy even as she defaults to her usual dryness: ]

Guess you really did miss me.

[ Her embrace tightens around him, and he swears he can hear his name on her lips against his hair, and for a moment he feels like maybe she loves him after all. Maybe all this is just bravado and posturing and--

But then she gets up, and Poe's throat clenches hard, and he just feels hollow - longing so much for something that he can't have, but can't stop himself stealing pieces of, anyway. Fuck. Fuck, he's an idiot. Why the fuck does he do this to himself?

Her dry tone cuts the silence and a flare of despair grips him again but he pushes through it. What else was there to do? He didn't want anyone else. He just wanted to be with her, for as long as she would let him.

He just wished she loved him, too. ]

Looks like it. [ But he doesn't have the heart to put the humour back in it. And he doesn't have the strength to give her the honest answer - that he'd missed her more than anything.

Slowly, he pushed himself out of the bath, dark hair pressed in wet ringlets against his forehead. He went for his wand but only just barely whisked the water from himself. He left his hair damp. ]

Think our luck is good enough that someone thought to leave us robes?

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